Today I had made an appt. to go see Dr. for a lump I had notice since I have lost weight. However, I had let this go for about 2-4 weeks I would say before I finally decided to call the doctor.
9:15am I went to see a midwife Patricia Collin for the lump in my breast.
Mrs. Collins did say that lumps are common in women my age but, she was a little concerned about the size of it so she scheduled me to have a mammogram to be done within the week. They scheduled it for 06/08/11 at 9 am at Sunnyside Kaiser.
My friend Kimberlee Shattuck would not allow me to go alone so she went for the ride. After the mammy they tell me that they needed to show it to the radiologist and he is making me have an ultrasound done before I leave. This part they let Kim come into the room and OMG! I’m all embarrassed because I believe that the lady doing the ultra sound thought I was gay. lol…. SO anyway, after the ultra sound they took us back to the radiologist’s lil’ room, and when I say lil’ I mean he has this huge machine where he can scan threw each patient’s x-rays which takes up one wall then his desk is on the other wall, with a office chair in the middle. I swear most of the one-seater bathrooms at Kaiser are bigger then this guy’s office. If you know me, I have a thing for people watching and elderly people. … Well Mr. radiologist guy was wearing slacks, a nice white dress shirt and a red bow tie. OMG! I wanted to squeeze his cheeks (the upper ones just to clarify) he was so cute. That was until he told me that this is a large mass and he felt it could possibly be cancerous, because of the little abnormalities to it. He suggested doing a needle core biopsy of the mass. His assistant walks in with dates scheduled for a needle ultra sound guided needle core biopsy and an appt. with a surgeon. Kim and I walk out of the office in shock of how quick things are going.
Needle biopsy scheduled for 06/13/11 @ 1pm, Sunnyside Kaiser and surgeon appt. scheduled for 06/20/11 @ 9am.
Today I also had chose to write an e-mail letting a certain chosen few know what is going on with me at this point.
Well, so Kris wouldn’t let me go alone to this appt. she kept saying I shouldn’t be alone and went to be supportive even though she had to sit in the waiting room. The ultra sound tech did some scans, then tells me she’s going to get the radiologist. They come back, the Radiologist then sits down, asks me some questions and tells me it looks to be cancerous without a doubt but she still wants to do the needle core biopsy. I agreed. She did the biopsy and then leaves. The ultra sound tech had to compress the biopsy site, because I kept bleeding, so it took 15 – 20 minutes when she finally gave up and taped on a compress dressing. The radiologist comes back in and tells me that she put the orders in for STAT, 24 hour turn around but that doesn’t mean that they will come back STAT it can take up to 4 business days. But it was Monday so we had that going for us she said. She also told me I had to keep the surgeon’s appt. Can’t cancel that appt.
I leave the appt. nervous because it’s usually not good when they put orders in STAT and everyone kept sayin it looks to be cancerous. My stomach is instantly in Knots….
3:37pm the most sweetest lady named Jane from Kaiser called me and had the worst job ever to tell me I had a positive test of cancer. I have been officially been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). It is a very common type of breast cancer. It starts developing in the milk ducts of your breast, but breaks out of the duct tubes, and invades, or infiltrates, surrounding tissues. IDC has the potential to invade your lymph and blood systems, spreading cancer cells to other parts of your body. If IDC spreads beyond its original site, we say it has metastasized. Jane is amazing she gave me her direct line number told me to call her anytime I had any questions. She gave me a few web sites to go look at and a phone number to call for a support group. I had about 15 minutes to digest this before Nate came home. How do you tell your husband you have cancer? Well, let me tell you it’s some of the hardest words you could ever get to come out of your mouth. We just sat and soaked up the silence for a few. My phone rings, it’s Jane from Kaiser calling me back giving me more info. I went into my bedroom where my kids might not over hear me talking about this. I get off the phone and it hits me smack in the face. All I could do is sob…… That’s when my amazing hubby walked in and sat and hugged on me for awhile while we both cried. My parents are out of town for a week so Nate’s asking me when do we tell the kids and family? Well, we talked and I had decided I’m not calling my parents and ruining their vacation they will be last to know I guess. Nate had said we needed to tell people ASAP as phone calls are pouring in for Dr. appts. etc. Someone is gonna over hear or catch on so we decided to set Kelli, my sister and the boys down and tell them right away. So we do. I thought telling Nathan was hard. I am not in a good emotional place to say it so I ask Nate to tell them. He started to say something and breaks down in tears and just can’t look at the kids. He tried to walk out of the room before he did. He just hugged me and couldn’t tell them, so I did. But that’s when the words of Jane’s last phone call came to me “This doesn’t mean it’s a death sentence.” and that’s all I could say after I told them. Later, while I was making dinner, Kelli came up to me and said, “ I thought you guys were gonna say something happened to mom and dad… thank God it didn’t”. I still laugh at her response… Nate and I decided we should e-mail family and friends. So I went ahead and sent out a basic e-mail. This is where I’m at. E-mail and private messaged a few family members on Facebook. I spent the night not able to sleep but doing a lot of researching on line. Tummy in huge knots, can’t eat.
Today I got a call from the surgeon’s scheduling office asking if I’d like to come in earlier then Monday. Nate had taken Monday off to go with me so I was hesitant. But she said I could get in tomorrow at 9am instead of Monday. I wouldn’t have to wait a whole week. Hell yeah, I jumped on that with or without Nate. Nate calls his boss and tells him he HAD to have tomorrow off.
So we get to the surgeon’s office and the nurse taking us back to the room asked me if we were somehow related to Shawn Marple. I told her yes, why? Oh she use to work with him at Freightliner. Nate still has them why you asking issues when people ask if we’re related to another Marple, it’s usually sorry to hear about your dad and it takes him off track for awhile so this did too. Surgeon comes in, duh, I realize I had seen her in May last year. Sweet… so this thing hadn’t been in me too long. Dr. Sarah Cowgill ROCKS! She basically examined me. By this time I have been felt up by so many people there is no need for modesty anymore, you just whip out the twins and… bam there it is, like it or not. Nate says DAMN JILL” ha…ha, I think that brought him back to reality… Dr. and I laughed. She then asked me what I knew so far so I filled her in on what I had been told so far and what all I had learned online. She was kind of taken back by how much I had known. She then is asking me what I had thought. Well I just turned it right back around on her and said, “Well, let’s just have you tell me what you’re thinking I should do.” We then had a few seconds of us snickering. But it’s true, why should I be telling them what I think. They are the ones who went to school to tell me what I should be doing, right? Well, so she has to tell me legally what both options are, so she goes over them again, as I had previously told her. I could have a lumpectomy, or a mastectomy. But then Nate just perks up and says “Well, Jill knew walking in here what she wants”. I said no, “WE” had discussed what we thought should be done. So, Dr. Cowgill asks me what my decision is. I explained that I don’t want dimpling if I have a lumpectomy or the chance for reoccurrences. I have chosen to have a mastectomy but if I do one I want them both done. But If I do them both I need reconstructive surgery. I need boobies and I need them back up north where they should be. Oh my, did we all laugh and joke around a lot after that. She is so amazed at me outlook of it is what it is I can’t change that and it doesn’t have to be a death sentence so I have to stay positive and I’m looking at it I’m getting new boobies… The Girls will be up where they should be again and God just had to have me go the hard way to get them. I have to prove that I’m worth them. I am! I am gonna be strong and show people that you must talk about these issues and proactive about it. She totally agreed with my decision and as a team we discussed it all pros cons surgery, etc. Then she once again told me she is just amazed at me … So I had to go have labs done, a chest x-ray and then go threw a 5 minute class with a nurse on how to deal with drains.( ICK ) Oh yeah Dr. said biopsy site still looks good even though it’s nice shades of the rainbow. I also asked about being tired. Being tired is my body finally slowing down from the fast pace and stress I’ve been under in the last week. Plan on naps. I asked if I could get that in writing and she added it to my aftercare sheet love that lady.
I was told I couldn’t have surgery till after I had seen a Plastic surgeon. Nate asked if she thought I’d have surgery before the 4th of July and she thought so. I get home and the plastic surgery dept called and made an appt for me to see the plastic surgeon on 06/21/11 at 8am at Sunnybrook.
Nate decided he needed to call his mom and let her know threw a phone call, not just an e-mail even though that was sent a day or so before. Then he called his uncle Kory and talked to him about Caitlin’s wedding invite we received today. Nate didn’t know how to explain the rsvp as we want to go but just are not sure if and where I’ll be health wise. Nice to see Nate making a huge effort on his behalf.
When reality hit it hits you hard huh Nate…proud of you babe!
Well my biopsy site is nasty looking; all shades of black, yellow, lime green, hot pink, red, some brown and purple. I am really tired today, even before I went to work out with Kim today in the pool. First time in about a week I’ve gone to the pool. According to their scales I lost another 2.5 pounds. Whoop! Whoop! My tummy is allowing me to eat but not a lot. They suggested that I start taking some ensure or something like that when I don’t feel like eating. Oh yummy!