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Sunday, January 29, 2012

Jan 10, 2012 - Jan 29,2012

Jan 10th My breast reconstruction surgery .
surgery started at 7:30am and finished at 11:45am suposta be a 2- 2 ½ hr surgery
Today I got my extender implants out and the saline implants put in and liposuction done where they had left what we called boob 3 & 4. I woke up in so much pain I remember crying so hard and she said I was yellin “owwwwiiieee” the nurse told me that I had to calm down before she could bring Nathan back to me. 45 minutes she tried getting me comfortable, stop crying and to get the pain under control. She finally brings Nater back and she is tellin me if I can drink one full glass of cranberry and sprite mix and eat 1 two pack of crackers and a jello and keep it down then I can go home. I drink the cranberry drink and asked for water as it was too sweet ( yeah to sweet for me STRANGE ) I’m in a ton of pain and she is still tryin to push meds for that. My surgeon walks in to check on me because of the pain was not under control. I had to pee so bad I asked if I could go to the bathroom with Nate’s help this time. I had already had to use the bedpan once cos they wouldn’t let me out of bed then .She asked me to hold on a few minutes but I’m ready to explode I have to pee so bad. They had discussed pushing more meds and so the nurse grabs them and is pushing them as I ask her for a puke bucket. She looks at me says you don’t need to puke do you I just repeated you have a puke bucket and she states you’re awefully white all of a sudden and she hands me this round blue bag maybe a 6 inch circle thing to puke into but she is holding it up to my mouth flat like straight out and I’m tryin to tip it so its around my mouth like you would drink out of a cup. She tipped it back the other way and I projectile puke so bad it went past the end of the bed and hit the floor. Then it came up in droves. As my surgeon was standing at the nurse’s station and looking over her shoulder at me and says I haven’t seen anything like that in my life besides in the movies hold on honey I’m getting you meds right now for that. They pushed a ton of things into my iv as I sat in puke, and pee. Yes I peed the bed OMG ! They took off the gown and she tried cleaning me up with a wet wash cloth and wraps a sheet around me brings a wheel chair puts a clean sheet in that. Then the nurse and Nate help me into that. I’m wheeled to the bathroom where I get to go finally, well ok I get to go again. She also brought my clothes to me so I could get ready to go home. I’m still in a ton of pain and very nauseated. Nate wheels me back to my lil room and it’s all cleaned up by the time we got back. I explain I have puke down the front of my ace wrap and I will not be able to handle that so they will have to change it . The nurse tried tellin me its ok and she can’t change it it has to be done by the surgicially nurses. Nate and I at the same time told her well you better go find one cos I’m not gonna be able to handle it. Specially with my sensitive nose. She said she will see what she can do. She comes right back with two surgical nurses, the two that were in my surgery suite with me they say. They cut the wrap off of me and rewrap me up after cleaning it all back up. The tricky part was having to deal with the drains on each side and rewrapping . My doc comes back once more before going into surgery again to check on me they push nausea and pain meds to get me home she said since it’s a drive home. I had to drink some water then I was released. Straight home and to bed Oh it sucks having to sleep at least above a 45 degree angle. Which means the recliner not totally reclined , with the tv pillow with arms on it in bed, or the couch and a ton of pillows. Then the drains OMG I HATE THEM DAMN THINGS! Once I have less then 20cc of drainage form each drain in a 24 hr period then I can call and get them taken out.

Jan. 13,2012
I had 20 ccs on each side of drainage on each side so they got me an appt to see the surgeon to have the drains taken out. We drive clear over to sunnybook , Clackamas, Or. Only for my surgeon to tell me the lipo areas look worse then what she expected and she wants me to stay bound up and the drains to stay in till Jan 17th. I was so upset because they hurt and I’m sick and tired of the damn drains I balled all the way home. Also very upset with the implants size them selves. She did 1000cc’s on my right and 940cc’s on my left. Kaiser only allows 800cc’s but she said she did a little more for me. Doc explained that they took out all my chest tissue my first surgery. Sometimes they leave some in there, but in my case they didn’t. My boobs are so small from what I was told and expected.
My drains would be 40 cc – 20 cc sometimes twice a day so I guess it was a good thing we kept them in longer. Even though I cussed and swore at them all the time I had them.
Jan 17th
I went and got my drains out OMG these drains hurts o bad to get removed. They were even tucked up under my damn implants so she had to pull really hard which hurts and when she yanked them I felt my implant move up and the drains pull out. I did this not medicated which was really STUPID! So I balled once again with each drain and then some more afterwards that pain was horrible. She was amazed at how much I was bleeding from the drain sites after they were pulled so she stuck a lot of gauzed and taped it down on the sites.
I had a CAT scan to have done to my lower back at Sunnyside hospital so I went and had that done right afterwards.
By the time I got home I had completely soaked the gauze with blood from my right side. I had to redo a ton of gauze and tape it up as soon as we got home. Then once again before bed I had to redo it again. By the next day when Nate got home it had finally slowed down and started to scab over.
I don’t sleep well due to having to sleep sitting up to some degree, and my butt hurts from sitting all the time. I’m really weak , and very tired. I can’t sleep on my sides either uuugh this sucks !
I am able to take the wrap off for a little bit each day but the lipo areas need to have compression but when I’m wrapped it hurts to breathe cos my ribs are compressed too. I am very upset with the outcome of my implants. None of my shirts, or bras fit. I honestly think I’m depressed about it . It’s a daily reminder of the shit I have been through and NOTHING went right not one thing. I always looked at it as a positive getting my implants but now it’s a daily bad reminder.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving 2011

I have been so Thankful the last few months more then I have ever in my life.
Thank you goes out to each and every one of you for all the support, love, and prayers. As I Kick cancer to the curb, you all have been helping me.Some of you feel you haven't but even in the simplest way of just checkin in on me from afar has helped me know that you care. Here is just a few of the simplest ways people have helped me that I am so honored and thankful for.

Cher had mentioned me to a few of her friends and they would send me cards and lil gifts to perk me up. how amazing is that... these are people that I have never met but so so lucky to finally meet them a few weeks ago. AMAZING PEOPLE!

I was very honored when a old friend from high school had told me about Shoots For A Cure and that she would be willing to take my pictures. Janice Mullane Peralta is the best!!!! Janice came to my friend Cher Schmidt's house while I was up visiting and we did the photo shoot in her house. This photo shoot was only a few weeks ago, and I am so thankful Janice was able to be able to capture this time for me. I want to remember my cancer treatments, scars from surgery, and everything that came with it. I want o be able to stand up say look at what I accomplished. I am so Thankful these two women are in my life, as with all of my other friends and family. I am one lucky broad!!!! I truely was very overwhelmed by all the support and love I have recieved from everyone in the last few months. I am not one to talk or show about emotions much but I seriously am very emotional over all the support.

Cher & I

Shoots For A Cure had asked if I would be willing to allow them to put my photos on their website. I did and here is a link to that page... (hope that worked, if not copy and paste) they are the same picts.
Thank you goes to Kris Gray for helpin me out with words.

Here are just a few shout outs to a few people ....
If I don't have your pict let's get it soon if it is possible as I want to honor each and every one of you.

THANK YOU for the best supporter ever!!!! Nathan Marple,you amaze me!!!
You're the BEST!

THANK YOU Cher Schmidt for being a huge supporter!!

THANK YOU COLTY for loving and supporting me even kissin & cuddling with me when I needed it most !

THANK YOU Kris for being you, and supporting me !!

THANK YOU Danika for all your help and support!!

A HUGE THANK YOU to Nicole Robinson, Peyton Lynn, Kris Gray, & Rachael Yonko for walkin race for the cure with me !!

A huge THANK YOU to my niece Peyton Lynn for making me a dragon tail for Race for a cure!!!

TAHNK YOU Shelley Pennington Embrey supporting me while running!!

THANK YOU Carter Kinkead for supporting me durring his CCYF football game!!

THANK YOU Prairie Falcon CCYF 7th graders for supporting me durring their game!!!

Thank each and every one of you for all of your support!

Thank you all for supporting me!!!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Round 4 !!!!

Well Round 4 kicked me!
The more rounds I go the worse they seem. I got sick to my tummy as soon as I got home. Today is day 7 and I still don’t feel all that good. However, better than I have been this week. I haven’t had the nausea this bad yet OH it was all I had to keep it down. I instantly was plugged if you know what I mean… I don’t like to talk about those issues that come with chemo but this round if it’s not plugged its running lol. My hands hurt really badly like a lot of pressure then I realized they were swelling. Saturday we went to a memorial service for one of Nate’s co workers wife and we had to leave right afterwards it was all I had to stay awake, even on ride home. I slept all day and night woke up Sunday my birthday feeling horrible in the middle of the night and just stayed in bed all day. Monday I woke up to get boys ready for school and I took a pict of my hand at 6 am went back to bed woke up at 9 am and took another picture wow the difference is crazy. They hurt so bad they burn like an actual burn. I even have them on the palm side of my hand on a few fingers… My nails Oh my nails it feels like the pressure inside my fingers that I was talking about is pushing the nails off my nail beds. My nails are actually lifting off in areas. Then today I noticed that my nails are flattening out. Research guy said this is a side effect and it’s from the chemo. Like no big deal nothing they can do. Along with these FEW LOL complaints I have 2 blisters on my foot. One right under my big toe that is about the size of a quarter and the other on the heel and then duh of course this is on the bad foot that I had ankle surgery 2 times last year on and nerve damage from… so I walk different because of the blisters which is causing other issues with the ankle and nerve issues. OH WHEN WILL IT STOP? Calgon take me away ! lol

6 am left hand 10-24-11

6 am right hand 10-24-11

9am right hand 10-24-11

10-26-11 9 am right hand

finger nail lifting

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

round 4 10/19/2011

SO I go pick up Kris at 7am we headed straight for Starbucks then to subway to get lunch for later. WE get on the road at 7:20 made it to appt just at 8am, Lucky ducky lol. Not like they are ever in a hurry for us you know but you have to be on time.
Anyways we go back meet with Kate Van Meter she tells me my blood levels are good YIPPIE! We discuss my nausea still and she refers me to the pharmacist for a consult.
Next Kris and I went up to physical therapy for my lemyhedema therapy. Yup ½ hr early but they get me in right away which was nice. So since we had 30 minutes Kris and I went down stair and had out lunch at 9:30am lol but I know if I didn’t eat I’d be sick afterwards. SO we munched on our subway sandwiches then headed back up to check in to chemo.
Once we were taken back we were put in chair 4 with Susan as my nurse… RUDE AND VERY SHORT with people… I get my port cath hooked up to the saline it runs for 30 minutes. I had forgot to take my Dexamethasome Steroid yesterday and my am dose for today…ops so they then had to hook me up to that for 45 minutes they give me a sutifed for my nose side effects I get my second bag of chemo and two kytril for the nausea so I take all this and then here comes my chemo….
Susan was training or retraining I should say this lady Linda use to be in the chemo ward 12 years ago and came back today was her second day back and I happened to get her. But she is nicer the Susan. I’m sitting forward in my chair scrapbooking on the stool in front of me and all of a sudden my ass is wet and I didn’t Pee… And It’s getting worse so I stand up really quick as Linda is screwing in the new chemo bag to my iv lines and then my chair is really soaked now and I’m freaking’ out “ HELLLO WE HAVE A PROBLEM THIS IS LEAKIN AND MY ASS IS WET” well she blocks the chemo which is great but forgot to block the saline, She does that and then I’m looking’ at the big piece that hooks from my port to the iv lines and it now had blood coming out . I hold it up right thinking oh it won’t come out of that and its pour out of that like a chocolate fountain, they block that and then we clean it all up. All to find out Kris wasn’t there she went to the ice machine she missed most of the drama lol. OMG really…..
I ended up getting my second bag of chemo but got a headache with it and I ask Susan the nurse if I can get something for it she says we are giving you sutifed for it I said no that’s for the nose side effects I have with it. SO Kris went out to pharmacy and talked to Gayla (My pharmacists and my fav.) talked to her she said they give sutifed to help prevent headaches and they don’t carry any of my migraine / headache meds… GO figure. So she comes out of the pharmacy and asks me if I’d like just a pain pill I told her sure, just surprise me look at my record I have a few . She offered me a dialoted (spelled wrong) I turned it down then told her to just surprise me with whatever she wanted to give….That broad came out with two vicodine lmao for a head ache but it worked lol

I then all of a sudden started sweating so bad they got me a cold wash cloth. I have NEVER had this side effect it was horrible. I mean I soaked some clothes it was bad. I get it to calm down and then wham its back I had this happened 4 times now 2 while at chemo 2 at home. OMG it is horrible.

On a good note about this round I believe someone had sent me two angels today and it was for me just to remember….. This sweet little lady sat across from me Karen .she was diagnosed a few days before me but get this she went in thinking she had a sinus headache and it ends up being 17 liesions on her brain and some on her lungs. What a spitfire …Sweet little Karen has lung cancer that has mastestized to brain cancer. Oh seeing her she just reminded me of my Grandma J then she asked us girls to come chat with her so we did for a few and learned a lot about her in a few minutes… I’m praying for her too last her 2 +years as she is praying for…
Then a bit later a new man was brought in to the unit and sat across from me and I looked over and I swear it was Terry sitting here I slowly turned my head looked at Kris and said Terry and she looked up and kind of shocked look on her face she says yeah…. I swear I was meant to see these people today and remind me of each of them.

So today will filled with a great friend, drama, a new friend, and two reminders from angels.

Headaches back, Hot flashes, Tummy is so messed up, cotton mouth is horrible, nothing is working , not even the Biotene wash and gum, sick of water already, my feet and hands are blistering and cracking, now my nails are peeling , so need a mani/pedi, Muscle cramps and joint pain is here. I can’t walk far without sweating now, and bad lower back pain when I walk distance, I took an ambient sleep aid 2 hrs ago and still can’t sleep lol

I am not on my death bed as you usually associate people with going through chemo. I was told today women under 50 have the worse luck with horrible nausea not the elderly. I think since so many people are so closed about their journey we usually only see the end or close to the end results. That is what sticks in our minds. This is why I share!
It just amazes me how each round gets more intense more side effects and how I really feel like crap.
I may get out and about week two or three but I still feel like crap I get stir crazy can’t stay in the house all the time….So if you see me out and about or ask me yeah I’ll say “I’m ok “I ALWAYS have some nausea issues some days are horrible, and some days it’s just ok to deal with. I just want you all to know I am tolerating it the only way I know how, One day at a time. Just hoping this birthday I have nothing.
Thanks for all the support
Your letters, cards, messages, texts, everything helps me deal with the every day.
Love you all near and far.
Jill Marple

Friday, October 7, 2011

catchin up

I know I need to catch up and stay caught up but I am human and going through chemo and I forget lol
Well round two was just like round one a lot of the same issues. Which If you go back you can read as I have more to tell you about round 3 so I don’t want to go through it all plus I’m to dang lazy right now lol
Round three
Nate decided he wanted to go with me to this treatment… Oh he’s in for a good time lol
So let me fill you in Nate has bad knees do to work and has to get cortisone one a regular basis just for him to be able to walk. So we planned this out he has to have one day off after wards so he had the shots in both knees the day before treatment and then he’ll just go to treatment with me right …lol
Oh well good times he has restless leg syndrome and can’t stand sit squat for any periods of time right but the cortisone clams that down for about 4 days so we should be good. WE go to Chemo I go in see the drug research nurse, then go see the oncologist ( Nate being Nate, has quite a few comments about him lol he told me he had some questions he’d like answered while we were there and he was going to ask right but instead he sits there playing Zombie Gunship on my iphone instead of asking questions lol he didn’t even look up when the oncologist walked in lol Plus he didn’t even turn the sound down so it sounded like Iraq in there lol that’s my Nater please keep in mind I was pissed at the time, but lookin back it’s kind of funny my motto fits here it is what it is. ) then I’m askin the questions to my Doc and he kind of walked around the question and I never got it answered as doc leaves the room Nate pops his head up from the iphone “ ummmm not lookin good” Nate says lol. Oh he cracks me up some times. Next we have to go back to waiting room and recheck in to go to nurse chemo area. Of course Zombie Gunship is being played as we are walking down the hall ways ect . with sound. I go pay again and get checked in. finally we are taken back to chemo. My nurse hooks me up and to Iv and steroids and off I go to get my water juice and snacks he is floored I’m up cruising around as everyone else looks like they re on their death beds in there. But I honestly believe I was the youngest by 30+ years that day. Oh he really makes me laugh. Then the first bag of chemo comes and he is all that’s a lot then when that’s was done he thought we were lol no Nate one more OMG really that’s a big bag too lol oh Nate… After running my battery down he was bored thank god I brought the word searches he could wait for the battery to charge long enough as the plug in wasn’t by him lol thank God I brought it though lol We finally get to go home whoop hoo I was drained from keeping him occupied lol and watching him up, down stretch, up, down, stretch
Well the symptoms hit me harder and right away with this round I prepared for the constipation and had stuff on board prior (Insert rolling of eyes here) Thank God I did! But I noticed as soon as the nurse put the Heparin in my port to clear the line I got the usual nasty smell and taste in my mouth from that but my nose was super sensitive this time to smells. About 45 minutes from the last drop of chemo I noticed I got the waxy plastic coating in my mouth. I also noticed my taste wasn’t the same it’s just changed. UGGGH water didn’t even taste right uugh all before I even got home. I knew instantly once this happened this round was not going to be fun. Well I just went and walked around the house a few times to stretch and get fresh air. I then have had other issues hit me hard like I’m boarder line anemic. My blood counts are low. then the other day , my hands broke out in a rash hot and swelled, my bottom lip swelled so bad it split, my nose swelled so bad I couldn’t ware my glasses, my ear lobes swelled, I itched from head to toes , plus I got 3 blisters on my left foot too and my eye lids swelled shut. For no known reason so they make me drive back over there the next day to get checked. Oh it’s just a bad reaction to the chemo. REALLY???????????? I drove all that way for that NO SHIT HUH BAD REACTION glad I went to medical school. Yes the real Jill showed up and got all pissed but did nothing but ball my head off in the room and in the line at the pharmacy. I left there so mad. I got invited to go use a deep bathtub at Cher’s mom’s house to go soak in my aveeno. Oh it helped so much!!!!!

after dr visit

after long soak in the tub
So today the itching has gone down, hands are still fire red patchy and burn, nose soars are coming on, I’m very tired, my tummy still isn’t being settled. Doctor told me he won’t prescribe me a medical marijuana card but I can find it if I wanted to try a hit to see if it will help. OH BOY! Back to the good ole days LMAO! He also told me he can’t prescribe me my migraine meds (caffeine) but he can give me chemo…. Things that make you go hummmm….lol
Oh totally random thought to tell you the other day Kim and I went to the gym and we swam.
It felt so good getting back in the pool again. We have been two times now, and this last time we did the mile. It took us a little longer then we usually do but hey we did it, and I was only a few days out of chemo.
So as to date my usual daily of how I feel is like just before the flu really hits you … you know that your tummy just is not right unsettled, I fight daily headaches. I sweat doing very little, and tire very easily. I also noticed this round I’m VERY sensitive (lol) ok downright bitchy towards my poor Colty. I don’t mean to be but I can’t handle people acting DUMB right now… I just jump him in the middle of whatever he is saying and wow poor kido. I apologize but I don’t think it helps. As for Bai well he barely talks to me welcome to teen hood lol… I also have been EXTREAMLY emotional. I cry very easily. Like yesterday at the doctors about my swelling and itching. Just sobbing while he told me it’s just Chemo.
I keep telling myself that it is just God testing me to see how far till I break but I keep yelling to my inside self I’m broke Damn it! I’m Broke!
I do want to say again Thank You all for your love and support during this fight. Cos if it were not for you all I don’t know where I’d be health and mentally…. I love the cards, little words of encouragement, and all the prayers! THANK YOU!

just a random pict I took today just for Cher.
She was yellin at me for not waring a hat when I was out today.
So I put on on when I got home and sent her this pict lol
Didn't realize I could twist my face that much lol

Monday, September 12, 2011

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I don’t blog more... I mean to I just don't. I really just don't feel good!

I really am going through a hard time right now with round two.

I'm very emotional and struggling with the side effects chemo brings on.

I know it's not something people talk about but chemo does bring one something I hate and that is constipation. It hits you like a brick and I’m not kidding a brick sideways… Then they stress you out by telling you, you can’t push because you can cause a stroke. So you sit there worrying what are you going to do. The only thing that helps me is Magnesium citrate which let me tell you cleans you out like liquid then you’re stuck trying to recoop from that for a few days. It’s HORRIBLE!

The leg cramps and joint pain is worse this time around.
If every round gradually gets worse I don’t know what I’m going to do.
I’m only on round 2 day 4.