Monday, June 27, 2011

Not Much Going On

Hi all......
there is not much going on so while I wait (yes I have a mental count down )till surgery I won't post unless something happens.

I did have my sister's friend Heidi, who is a Scentsy consultant offer to do a Scentsy fundraiser for me. She offered to give up her Scentsy wage to go towards a real wig. when I mean a real wig I mean one that comes from an actual wig shop. The one that is hand tied and has a multi tones to it. like the one pictured here.... this is the one I love & want soooooooooooooooo bad.....

this is a costume type wig it will be very uncomfy if I do lose my hair its is more like a netting inside. It sucks, and it's really hot...

Till surgery.......
Time until Tuesday, July 5, 2011 at 9:00:00 AM (Portland time)
7 days
187 hours
11226 minutes
673561 seconds

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Dear Cancer,


Dear Cancer,
You think you can just barge in to my life like this and take over???????
You have another thing coming! I will fight!
I may have to take off body parts you have infected but guess what????
They will be replaced with new and better ones.

I may have to have to take meds the rest of my life to keep you away, or go through some pretty hard treatments on my body to keep you away. I will have good and bad days. But I WILL SURRIVE!
But something you don’t know … I have an amazing family and friends who support me from near or far.
Bring it on! I’m ready to kick some ASS!,
Signed One Tough Cancer Fighting Bitch,
Jill Marple

Friday, June 24, 2011

hair cut & wig shopping

Well today's the day ....
Hair cut & wig shopping


Am I really gonna do this????????
Yeppers full speed ahead baby!

close up of my haircut

Danika and I after she cut my hair. One amazing lady!

Kris & i went to the americian Cancer Society and this is the only wig there that was half way wearable. So I took it and figure I can play around with it and if it don't work out I can donate it back. They also gave me a scarf, 2 turbans, and two mini pillows to use under my arms to help relieve pressure from stitches. Plus she gave me more info. and this one place who does make up for you. I'm so stoked! It's a two hour class they teach you about what chemo. does to your hair, nails, and face. I was told they give you product to work with after chemo.
all these places are amazing and so help someones confindence it's amazing!

my favorite wig out of shopping today but it costs a small fortune $275.00
Is it sad when the store does a wish list? LMAO
I need to take out a small loan from some where

I was kind of freaked out as I explained to Nater I was just gonna cut my hair off before I go in to surgery. He didn't understand why. I keep explaining that if I have checmo. I'd rather be in control of losing alittle hair then losing a lot of hair to chemo. He kept saying there's that what if small chacnce you won't need chemo. well then I have a better chance of growing my hair out all one length this way. So when I actually came home from all the running around today I thought he's flip when he saw my hair. Did he???????
Nope of course not. He just reached over and gave me a noogie.
Gotta love that guy.
I honestly don't think I could love him any more but each day, he makes me!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

not a look for me ...I don't think. what about you?

Didn't do much today either, but I did play a little with a scarves...
just don't think it's a look for me.
what do you think?



oops forgot yesterdays post... here it is

06/23/11 I actually forgot to blog yesterday 06/22/11...
Well I ended up going to the gym with Kim and swam a mile. My legs were limp noodles when I finally got back home. I sat in the hot tub for a few seconds but it wasn't very warm. I ended up coming home and freezing all day. ( I hate that ) so I pretty much vegged in bed playin on puter.

Kelli came down in the evening and told me to get ready to go but I couldn't figure out where but then she finally told me she was taking me to get a pedi.
wooooo hooo finally! I had one done a month again but needed another badly.

I ordered my pink cancer braclets and recieved them today in the mail.

"fight like a girl"


"Cancer Sucks"

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

06/21/11 Plastic Surgeon Visit

Saline or Silicone ???

Can you say implants ????? (All Kinds)
Working from the back row forward
Back row is Tissue Expanders. They use these if to much skin and tissue had to be removed due from the area where the cancer mass was removed. then a second surgery is required to replace the expanders with the actual implant.
Middle row is saline and silicone
Front Row is a few of the larger sizes of silicone implants.

Just an idea of what they'd look like on .... ROFLMAO -Rollin' On floor Laughin' My Ass Off!

Well this appt was wierd! the Doc is very let's just say by the book, and no sence of humor. Doc dropped one of the implants on the floor. I say "Oops, boobie dropped!" He just looked at me straight faced and went on with what he was saying. I made a few wise cracks that my mom chuckled at and nothing out of him but stone faced. I walked out of their knowing more that I had researched online then what he told me. That to me is kind of sad. It upsets me actually. What if I didn't research anything and I relied totally on him. H basically told me that I will not know anything until after I wake up in recovery. As they won't know what kind of implant they can do ( if he will have to use tissue expanders or just implants )until they get in there to see what is left after the mastectomy. Basiclly I won't know ANYTHING on both sidesd of the surgeries the mastectomy part and the implant part till afterwards. He did tell me to expect a 4-6 hour surgery though. I also recieved an email back from my surgeon tellin me that considering the size it looks like I will have to have chemo. so to expect that.
I don't have really anything else to keep you all informed on besides I'm really tired.

Look Rachael Brought Me Boobies!

Racheal brought me balloons & a Starbucks card to cheer me up at the all day scrapbook event we had at the Hockinson fire dept. 06/18/11

06/14/11 - 06/15/11 Biopsy Site Photos

06/14/11 the monring after Ultrasound Needle Core Biopsy

06/14/11 .....2 hours after waking up




I need to go back a few days for you all now I can add pictures

Well Monday June 13, 2011 I went to go get my ultrasound needle core biopsy done and when I went to sit down in the chair next to Kris and this magazine was in my chair. I look at her and say “This is not a good sign!”

Monday, June 20, 2011

06/20/11 Worn Out!

I believe today was my last workout day. I am truly sad about this. I went to the pool and basically just floated around. I was just too tired to do anything today. I am truly feeling the stress hit me now. I am so tired but I can’t sleep no matter what flipping’ hour it is. what a disappointment. I have to call the gym tommorrow and put my account on medical hold.

After the gym Kimberlee & I went to Saffron’s specialized medical store to pick up my drain camisoles. The lady cracked up because Kaiser had only ordered 1 prosthesis and no bras…. Well hello I’m having a double mastectomy. I don’t want just one boob. WHAT THE HELL! So she was going to call them and get them to rewrite the orders. We did have a good time playing with the one prosthesis in the bra though. Amazing how real it felt. You could totally hug someone and not tell they were not real. Kim mentioned my nightmare and the lady cracked up and laughed then said it has happened and there are ladies that will tell you it’s just like your dream. GREAT! I feel the nightmare coming again tonight uuugh….

Tomorrow is booby day as Nate has been sayin’. 8am is my plastic consult. So he’s been asking me all week “What is it a catalog you get to look threw? Can you bring me a copy of it?” This is the reason why he is not going to the appt. I could not sit there and be all serious with him happy as a clam holding, squeezing, and playing with the implants. My mom offered to go so tmw. We will be squishin’ the implants.

Speakin’ of squishin’ boobies….. Have you checked your Tata’s lately?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

06/19/11 Totally Over Whelmed

Being over whelmed from all the love and support by all!
I received a phone call today from an old friend from high school. Honestly debated answering it not knowing if I was strong enough to talk about all that has been going on or not. I have my moments when I just break down, or talking with certain people, but for the most part I’m doing good. I’m s glad I took the call. I was doing some more research on the implants and surgery and sometimes all that information can get to you. . Tammy made my day she really picked up my spirits again.

My dear sister in law Nicole started a team for race for the cure in my honor, and then made this page on facebook …..!/event.php?eid=218359714861375. The support from people I don’t even know, and all the love from friends is overwhelming, but in a good way.

I’m not a person who is good with words but Thank You, does not even come close.
I just need to let you all know it really does mean a lot to me no words could ever express my thanks.

06/19/11 Studying SUCKS !

06/19/11 Studying SUCKS !
Today I did a lot of research on the different kinds of reconstructive surgeries there are. Who would’ve thought? Next were the implants there is so many different kinds and shapes, it was almost out of control. I really felt like I was being naughty looking up this stuff on the net…
There are pictures, videos, along with a lot of reading.

My next thing was learning about wigs……just in case I do have chemo.
Another thing with a lot of information out there on.
It’s not just the length and style like you’d think it could be.
Of course they have to make it a huge process.

Other then veggin’ on the bed all day researching on the net, we just went to dinner for Father’s day.
I honestly lead a lame ass life.

Debating if I should still go to the gym and swim up until surgery or not?????
I am noticing I’m so tired, but I do believe it’s my body catchin’ up to the stress.
So, do I go work out and get even more tired or do I just stop now?
Comment and let me know what you think.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

06/18/11 A long day

This morning I woke up to the dream well more like a nightmare again. This has been happening since Monday 06/16/11 when I was seen by the surgeon. Every flippin’ morning in the 3 o’clock hour I wake up freakin’ out. I know it’s going to sound funny to you as now I can laugh but it seriously wakes me up in a freaked out panic.
The nightmare….
I have had a mastectomy only one. (Not the double that I’m doing) I am at the gym getting ready to go swimming. I get into my swim suit and put in the prosthetic boob in to my suit like it’s no big deal I get in to my own lane and start to swim my laps. Kim is swimming also; we are at opposite ends of the pool in different lanes. That’s when I hear Kim yell “ummm, Jill! “ Then she points and says “your boob is over here floating!” I am so embarrassed I look down then up as I noticed about 4 people get out of the hot tub and look in the pool. I wake up in a panic.
So if for some reason you wake up in the 3 o’clock hour, I’ll be wakin’ up in a panic. This is a stupid dream. I don’t get it. LOL
I also went scrapbooking with Kris and some of the girls today. Was to be 9am to 9pm, I was there at 9am left at 7:30pm with everyone else. I totally am exhausted and I shouldn’t have stayed that long. Doc told me I will need to slow down and let my body catch up to this last stressful week but dang didn’t think it would hit me like it did today. Lesson learned.
My friend Mike had sent me a friend request of a friend of his Joni… she sent me the best quote today that had me in hysterics…” Of course they’re fake … my real ones tried to kill me.” lol Thanks Joni, I needed it!

quotes & comments

please feel free to add a comment or a quote. I love them.
I also am making a book strickly of just quotes and comments sent to me.

on another note please don't be looking at my spelling, and or punchuation. I have to go to word type out my post spell check then move it back here. Sometimes it don't get it all right.

Today is just another day of waiting.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is just another day of waiting.
This time it’s waiting for the time to tick away until my plastic surgeons appointment.

Let me explain something really quick to clear up some confusion. This type of cancer doesn’t hurt. It’s called the silent killer for that reason. That’s why most people don’t catch it until it’s almost too late. It’s very important to make sure you or your doctors do your checks. I will always be asking
“HAVE YOU FELT YOUR TATA’S LATELY?” for that reason. I feel fine, the same as I normally do every other day of my life. (Like I’m falling apart with age lol)
However, I am starting to get tired a little more easily. I have talked to the doctor about this and it’s due from all the stress I have put my body, mind, and soul threw in the last 11 days. It’s just my body catching up to reality now. She has written it down that I must plan naps. (I have it in writing lol) She even said she can write it as a prescription if I needed her to. (Love this lady, my kind of humor)

Just a warning ……
My blog will be pretty boring until my plastic appointment then again until surgery. I will just fill you in on my boring daily life.
Well off to get ready to scrapbook from 9 – 9 with the ladies…..

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I received that quote from Connie yesterday. Thanks Connie I love positive quotes. I am actually making a comment book and quote book so if anyone has any they would like to add just send them.
You can comment or email me at

Friday, June 17, 2011

06/17/08 Let me take you back a few days

Today I had made an appt. to go see Dr. for a lump I had notice since I have lost weight. However, I had let this go for about 2-4 weeks I would say before I finally decided to call the doctor.

9:15am I went to see a midwife Patricia Collin for the lump in my breast.
Mrs. Collins did say that lumps are common in women my age but, she was a little concerned about the size of it so she scheduled me to have a mammogram to be done within the week. They scheduled it for 06/08/11 at 9 am at Sunnyside Kaiser.

My friend Kimberlee Shattuck would not allow me to go alone so she went for the ride. After the mammy they tell me that they needed to show it to the radiologist and he is making me have an ultrasound done before I leave. This part they let Kim come into the room and OMG! I’m all embarrassed because I believe that the lady doing the ultra sound thought I was gay. lol…. SO anyway, after the ultra sound they took us back to the radiologist’s lil’ room, and when I say lil’ I mean he has this huge machine where he can scan threw each patient’s x-rays which takes up one wall then his desk is on the other wall, with a office chair in the middle. I swear most of the one-seater bathrooms at Kaiser are bigger then this guy’s office. If you know me, I have a thing for people watching and elderly people. … Well Mr. radiologist guy was wearing slacks, a nice white dress shirt and a red bow tie. OMG! I wanted to squeeze his cheeks (the upper ones just to clarify) he was so cute. That was until he told me that this is a large mass and he felt it could possibly be cancerous, because of the little abnormalities to it. He suggested doing a needle core biopsy of the mass. His assistant walks in with dates scheduled for a needle ultra sound guided needle core biopsy and an appt. with a surgeon. Kim and I walk out of the office in shock of how quick things are going.
Needle biopsy scheduled for 06/13/11 @ 1pm, Sunnyside Kaiser and surgeon appt. scheduled for 06/20/11 @ 9am.
Today I also had chose to write an e-mail letting a certain chosen few know what is going on with me at this point.

Well, so Kris wouldn’t let me go alone to this appt. she kept saying I shouldn’t be alone and went to be supportive even though she had to sit in the waiting room. The ultra sound tech did some scans, then tells me she’s going to get the radiologist. They come back, the Radiologist then sits down, asks me some questions and tells me it looks to be cancerous without a doubt but she still wants to do the needle core biopsy. I agreed. She did the biopsy and then leaves. The ultra sound tech had to compress the biopsy site, because I kept bleeding, so it took 15 – 20 minutes when she finally gave up and taped on a compress dressing. The radiologist comes back in and tells me that she put the orders in for STAT, 24 hour turn around but that doesn’t mean that they will come back STAT it can take up to 4 business days. But it was Monday so we had that going for us she said. She also told me I had to keep the surgeon’s appt. Can’t cancel that appt.
I leave the appt. nervous because it’s usually not good when they put orders in STAT and everyone kept sayin it looks to be cancerous. My stomach is instantly in Knots….

3:37pm the most sweetest lady named Jane from Kaiser called me and had the worst job ever to tell me I had a positive test of cancer. I have been officially been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). It is a very common type of breast cancer. It starts developing in the milk ducts of your breast, but breaks out of the duct tubes, and invades, or infiltrates, surrounding tissues. IDC has the potential to invade your lymph and blood systems, spreading cancer cells to other parts of your body. If IDC spreads beyond its original site, we say it has metastasized. Jane is amazing she gave me her direct line number told me to call her anytime I had any questions. She gave me a few web sites to go look at and a phone number to call for a support group. I had about 15 minutes to digest this before Nate came home. How do you tell your husband you have cancer? Well, let me tell you it’s some of the hardest words you could ever get to come out of your mouth. We just sat and soaked up the silence for a few. My phone rings, it’s Jane from Kaiser calling me back giving me more info. I went into my bedroom where my kids might not over hear me talking about this. I get off the phone and it hits me smack in the face. All I could do is sob…… That’s when my amazing hubby walked in and sat and hugged on me for awhile while we both cried. My parents are out of town for a week so Nate’s asking me when do we tell the kids and family? Well, we talked and I had decided I’m not calling my parents and ruining their vacation they will be last to know I guess. Nate had said we needed to tell people ASAP as phone calls are pouring in for Dr. appts. etc. Someone is gonna over hear or catch on so we decided to set Kelli, my sister and the boys down and tell them right away. So we do. I thought telling Nathan was hard. I am not in a good emotional place to say it so I ask Nate to tell them. He started to say something and breaks down in tears and just can’t look at the kids. He tried to walk out of the room before he did. He just hugged me and couldn’t tell them, so I did. But that’s when the words of Jane’s last phone call came to me “This doesn’t mean it’s a death sentence.” and that’s all I could say after I told them. Later, while I was making dinner, Kelli came up to me and said, “ I thought you guys were gonna say something happened to mom and dad… thank God it didn’t”. I still laugh at her response… Nate and I decided we should e-mail family and friends. So I went ahead and sent out a basic e-mail. This is where I’m at. E-mail and private messaged a few family members on Facebook. I spent the night not able to sleep but doing a lot of researching on line. Tummy in huge knots, can’t eat.

Today I got a call from the surgeon’s scheduling office asking if I’d like to come in earlier then Monday. Nate had taken Monday off to go with me so I was hesitant. But she said I could get in tomorrow at 9am instead of Monday. I wouldn’t have to wait a whole week. Hell yeah, I jumped on that with or without Nate. Nate calls his boss and tells him he HAD to have tomorrow off.

So we get to the surgeon’s office and the nurse taking us back to the room asked me if we were somehow related to Shawn Marple. I told her yes, why? Oh she use to work with him at Freightliner. Nate still has them why you asking issues when people ask if we’re related to another Marple, it’s usually sorry to hear about your dad and it takes him off track for awhile so this did too. Surgeon comes in, duh, I realize I had seen her in May last year. Sweet… so this thing hadn’t been in me too long. Dr. Sarah Cowgill ROCKS! She basically examined me. By this time I have been felt up by so many people there is no need for modesty anymore, you just whip out the twins and… bam there it is, like it or not. Nate says DAMN JILL” ha…ha, I think that brought him back to reality… Dr. and I laughed. She then asked me what I knew so far so I filled her in on what I had been told so far and what all I had learned online. She was kind of taken back by how much I had known. She then is asking me what I had thought. Well I just turned it right back around on her and said, “Well, let’s just have you tell me what you’re thinking I should do.” We then had a few seconds of us snickering. But it’s true, why should I be telling them what I think. They are the ones who went to school to tell me what I should be doing, right? Well, so she has to tell me legally what both options are, so she goes over them again, as I had previously told her. I could have a lumpectomy, or a mastectomy. But then Nate just perks up and says “Well, Jill knew walking in here what she wants”. I said no, “WE” had discussed what we thought should be done. So, Dr. Cowgill asks me what my decision is. I explained that I don’t want dimpling if I have a lumpectomy or the chance for reoccurrences. I have chosen to have a mastectomy but if I do one I want them both done. But If I do them both I need reconstructive surgery. I need boobies and I need them back up north where they should be. Oh my, did we all laugh and joke around a lot after that. She is so amazed at me outlook of it is what it is I can’t change that and it doesn’t have to be a death sentence so I have to stay positive and I’m looking at it I’m getting new boobies… The Girls will be up where they should be again and God just had to have me go the hard way to get them. I have to prove that I’m worth them. I am! I am gonna be strong and show people that you must talk about these issues and proactive about it. She totally agreed with my decision and as a team we discussed it all pros cons surgery, etc. Then she once again told me she is just amazed at me … So I had to go have labs done, a chest x-ray and then go threw a 5 minute class with a nurse on how to deal with drains.( ICK ) Oh yeah Dr. said biopsy site still looks good even though it’s nice shades of the rainbow. I also asked about being tired. Being tired is my body finally slowing down from the fast pace and stress I’ve been under in the last week. Plan on naps. I asked if I could get that in writing and she added it to my aftercare sheet love that lady.
I was told I couldn’t have surgery till after I had seen a Plastic surgeon. Nate asked if she thought I’d have surgery before the 4th of July and she thought so. I get home and the plastic surgery dept called and made an appt for me to see the plastic surgeon on 06/21/11 at 8am at Sunnybrook.
Nate decided he needed to call his mom and let her know threw a phone call, not just an e-mail even though that was sent a day or so before. Then he called his uncle Kory and talked to him about Caitlin’s wedding invite we received today. Nate didn’t know how to explain the rsvp as we want to go but just are not sure if and where I’ll be health wise. Nice to see Nate making a huge effort on his behalf.
When reality hit it hits you hard huh Nate…proud of you babe!

Well my biopsy site is nasty looking; all shades of black, yellow, lime green, hot pink, red, some brown and purple. I am really tired today, even before I went to work out with Kim today in the pool. First time in about a week I’ve gone to the pool. According to their scales I lost another 2.5 pounds. Whoop! Whoop! My tummy is allowing me to eat but not a lot. They suggested that I start taking some ensure or something like that when I don’t feel like eating. Oh yummy!